Cheaters and Liars
Do you attract to people who are cheaters and/or liars? Do you feel that you only deserve to date people who cheat and lie? Are cheaters and liars exciting to you in that bad boy/girl sense? We can and we need to fix this together, time for us to really look at this in your reading/healing. This is a good question for the OH DECK
Adults as broken children and what we now think is true love.
Each of us deserves to find the love of our lives, but we do have to love our selves first to attract what you deserve. Tonya Somers can truly help you to break these patterns. If one or both of your parents were cheater and liars you will attract that as soon as you start dating right into your life to deal with, learn the lesson quick and move on.
This is a list of many questions and informational answers about love and childhood patterns that quite often are asked of Tonya Somers during her readings. Of course, these are not the answers for each of you, but they are pretty common questions, yet your answer will never be the same. I can truly reach in and clear all of these issues/memories out of your aura within a healing session or two. No more attraction of cheaters and liars for you.
Who are you dating your father or mother?
When we first start dating, we usually attract a partner that has the same issues that have gone unanswered about why our most dysfunctional parent was the way they were when we were young. We tend to marry them, or partner up someone with the exact problem, so we can learn about that parent. Who in their right mind wants to marry someone exactly like their parent they had problems with anyway?
We also tend to remember their smell and attract it, Tonya’s dad was always in the garage working on cars and he could build anything, so for years, she attracted men that smelled like a mechanic and yes, they could build anything. But none of them were good for her because they also had all his bad traits. Good time for the OH DECK.
Are you a broken child/adult/child? We ALL ARE
There is no such thing as a perfect parent or a perfect child – Tonya told her daughter when she was 12 years old and stomping off “You should start a journal on what your mom has done wrong during your early years; it will save you thousands of dollars in your 30’s in therapy.
Many of us are so damaged from our childhood upbringing, that when we start dating as (supposed) adults, we tend to attract/date/marry an exact image of the bad personality trait of the parent we never understood while we were little kids. It confused us as young children, and we still wonder “Why is my dad or mom acting like that? Why do they treat me and each other this way?” So, we seek those answers, or should I say our lessons, unfortunately from our chosen mates.
When you wonder those questions at this young age, you actually seal your future dating fate. At that exact moment, you made a decision at let’s just say 5 years old, when you said to yourself “I will never marry/date someone like that,” right then and there you unknowingly stated your future subconsciously so that when you grow up you will do just that.
The simple answer is this: that 5-year-old child that still lives inside you, made that decision on how to relate and act within an adult relationship. Like a magnet, we will draw that energy to us every time until we realize it. Therapy anyone?
What we saw as young children we tend to bring into our adult relationships. Until we see that we are playing out that old movie of our minds, we cannot recognize a great relationship, or how to make one work or to see we have a great partner. This takes patience and lots of inner reflection to see what you are doing wrong.
Most of us need to go to the right therapist, or work with someone like Tonya on these subjects, to help you see what you really need in your life and deserve. No more cheaters!
If you are lucky enough to find the right person, never take real love for granted. If you find it, work hard at it. The grass is not always greener on the other side; sometimes you just need to water your own yard and nourish the love you have now in your life.
Where do I find the one?
If you are one of the blessed lucky children that had wonderful parents, you may tend to trust too easily and want to believe everyone is like them. This is not always true, and you could be easily fooled. Be careful and take your time truly the big rule in all relationships never trust too soon, do not move in together or get married for at least 2 years.
Why do I have communication issues with my mate and children?
Do you talk at your partner instead of communicating with her or him? Most of us make this mistake with everyone in our lives until we realize this.
Why do I keep dating/attracting someone that always disappoints me? Why do I attract married people or cheaters in general?
If you truly do not want a real love partner in your life, you will set yourself up to date replaceable people. You will both know at the beginning that this has a time limit and it will end. You both look for this and set it up from the beginning, and you will both not want to commit for too long.
Many of us say we want love, but we do not really want to give up our personal space and control or independence. We also choose our mates for many reasons, one of the big ones to marry someone who just lets you do anything you want, if you want your freedom to it all then you get bored with them for all the same reasons you CHOSE them.
Crazy-Makers:
You may be wondering what I mean by the term “Crazy maker?” Many of you have dated this type of person; you could have been raised by one or had a boss at work or coworker that is impossible to deal with. They want to change you, to mold you into a partner with low self-esteem, who will never leave them.
They will berate you, and beat you down, so you do not think you can do any better than them. Tonya Somers has seen many people literally die to get out of a wrong relationship. Sometimes you are the crazy-maker, and you need to do all the changing.
Usually, the mate they choose (you) will actually be smarter than they are; more educated, come from a better or different background; MAKE NO MISTAKE! They are with you to literally BREAK YOU down, all the way.
The term is pretty simple and self-explanatory–these people will truly make you crazy! They will make you doubt your own sanity. If you are with anyone who makes you start thinking that you are always wrong, and you begin to doubt yourself, and your own opinion, or the way you live your life, they are a crazy maker. First figure out the lesson they brought you, then RUN AWAY FAST! Again, always a cheater.
Most the time, crazy making is done just verbally and through their “mean” actions, like blaming you all the time. Crazy makers are extremely narcissistic. (Read below)
If you are starting to doubt YOU or how you live your life; if you are feeling unsure of your choices, developing depression; then they are winning! Stop the game! Run for the hills–live your life again! Listen to your friends that love you if they are truly not comfortable with your new partner, think really hard about the reasons, they might be totally valid.
Where is my perfect mate? I say pick your dysfunction! We all have issues. All of us do, so the real question is this: what can you live with?
Uh, NOT ON THIS PLANET! There is not a perfect man or woman – you will never find everything in one person. This is why we need to have friends and hobbies so that we do not need to be so dependent on one person to make us happy and complete. We should be a bonus to each other in our love relationships, not a drain. If not, they may be the wrong person, or you two need to go to therapy and work on this together.
We all know a drama queen or king! The problem is sometimes they are addicted to trauma. It is as bad as drugs and alcohol. Usually, they come from a home where they did not get the proper love and attention. If you are one and are never happy with anything or anyone, do not cheat on your mate! This can be worked on together in a healing session. But you will need to watch yourself forever to make sure you are not acting too quickly in all situations in your daily life.
Why do I have an attraction to cheaters or liars?
Look at yourself, do you feel you deserve this? Let’s change that forever! YOU do not deserve this NO ONE DOES! This whole page is a great reason to do an OH DECK reading.